So, last night while we are getting ready for bed, I ask Dale casually, "how do I get guys to buy a Bouquet CSA for their lady?"  Assuming because he has a wife and he is a guy he would know the answer.  I am sure you can guess the one I received.

So, this morning I did what any good entrepreneur would do, I asked Google.  Duh.  I almost would have preferred Dale's non-answer.  Below are a few snippets of the suggested marketing strategies.  Ladies, try not to pee your pants laughing.

"Men will only take a difficult action (like spending hard-earned dollars on a big bunch of flowers) if they are convinced that the pain of NOT taking the action will be worse than the pain of taking the action. It is very easy for the man on the street who briefly notices your storefront to think “Shall I? … nah, I’m in a hurry”. Why does he do this? Because he does not particularly want to deviate from his routine.  He might walk past your shop every day and never stop to buy his wife a beautiful bouquet simply because he hasn’t been made aware of the pain he is inflicting on himself by not doing so.  Meanwhile, his wife, growing bored of his unromantic ways, the lack of spontaneity in their lives, withdraws, setting off alarm bells in the man’s mind. Warning: Rejection! Rejection!"

"You have to tap into his basic psychological need for external validation.  You have to communicate to the man that his wife (mother, daughter, etc) will be so happy with him for buying those flowers that he will totally be in the good books with the ladies in his life. The wife will welcome him home with open arms; the daughter will look after him when he gets old and sick – and all because they bought them flowers."

 I think this is the photo they are referring to.

I think this is the photo they are referring to.

"Well, men are not as impressed with subtlety as ladies are, generally speaking, so how about a photo of a good-looking lady throwing her flower-laden arms around her man in a fit of delight? Leg suggestively kicked up at the back?  Or how about a blackboard propped above a display of ready-to-go flowers that simply says:  Say “Yes” to us now and she’ll say “Yes” to you tonight!”

 

They sure don't give your men very much credit do they? 

It made me want to bring out one of my first blog posts below again.  I wrote it before we started the Bouquet CSA which now provides a solution to the "problem" of the numero uno excuse for not buying flowers: they die.  (Does that really make any sense anyway?  I mean, our dogs are going to die, but that didn't stop me from getting two.)  Now just when your flowers are about to die, you get a fresh bouquet!  Genius.

Hope you enjoy it.  Happy Friday!

xoxo, katy


 

Girls do not hate flowers. No one does.

Previously titled: Boys Let Me Help You Out.

It has come to my attention, again, that there is a husband out there that said to his buddy, “I am so glad my wife doesn’t like flowers.”

Ah. Stab me in the heart.

Even typing this makes me shutter.  And, don't even get me started on Mother’s Day.  The fathers that feel they don’t need to celebrate the mother of their children because, "she's not MY mom."  I mean...I. Can’t. Even. 

I digress.

{By the way, I am going to spend some hard-earned money promoting this socially to only men in my local area.  Every single girl I know knows a man in her life that needs this information; brother, dads, husbands, boyfriends, sons, friends.  Share away.  It’s a pandemic.  Want to know the difference between that and and epidemic?  I took out the step of googling it for you:
Epidemic: An outbreak of disease that attacks many peoples at about the same time and may spread through one or several communities.
Pandemic: When an epidemic spreads throughout the world. 
You can thank me later.}

Also, if you are friend of mine and you say to your boyfriend, husband or father that “flowers are a waste of money”, we can no longer be friends.  Unless you have a good excuse…see below.

This post is only for the boys.  Girls, do not read this.

Allow me to let you in on a little secret.  Girls love flowers.

Unless they have a legit allergy or some painful childhood memory (which if they do, I have to hear it), girls do actually LOVE flowers.  If you have ever heard a girlfriend or your newlywed say, “Oh, honey, you don’t ever have to buy me flowers, they just die anyway.  It’s a waste of money” They’re lying.  How do I know this?   Because once upon a time, I was THAT girl, trying to impress THAT boy with my high-cool, low-maintenance attitude.  However, what these girls don’t tell you, and I will, is that if you aren’t going to get flowers, you better get something…anything, to replace the sentiment.  Did you know that?  No flowers, but jewelry would be nice.  Or, a massage.  Or, a complete and total spa day.  Dinner.  A card.  Anything.

But, sadly, what actually happens on occasions that typically call for flowers; birthdays, anniversaries, jobs well done, get well soon and, perhaps the most sought-after, just because I love you, nothing happens.  Like, nothing.  No jewelry, no gift cards, no card.  Nada.  And, it’s not really your fault.  You are just trying to follow the one rule…listen to the girl: no flowers.

But, here’s the deal.  As time marches on, that girl, perhaps she has become your wife and/or the mother of your children, secretly hopes you break the rule…just this once.  (Be careful you don’t go breaking a bunch of other rules.)  She hopes that fresh flowers miraculously show up at her workplace or on her doorstep from that boy.  BUT, because she said THAT ONE THING so many years ago, that boy holds on to IT for a lifetime.  And, all of a sudden, in a fit of frustration one day, she says through tears perhaps, “YOU NEVER EVEN SEND ME FLOWERS!”  And, you’re all like, “you said you didn’t want them.”  Again, how do I know this?*

Help me help you.  I challenge any boy to send flowers to your girl, the one who said IT so long ago.  See what happens.

If you come home and she throws them at you and you have to sleep on the couch because you bought her flowers, you can tell me I am wrong (which will be the part that really chaps me).   (Girls, stop reading here.)

*Do you really want to know how I know this?  I didn’t get flowers that often but I did get flower farm.  Send her flowers…it’s way cheaper.  Trust Dale on this one.

Girls, I know you cheated and read this.  Figure out a way for the man in your life to see it.  Share it.  Tag him.  Print it and put it on the toilet seat.   It doesn’t really matter if it’s a surprise.  The thought is the same and the alternative is you don’t get flowers.

 

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